| You know? When you publish a book and send it | | | | seemed: 1) have an agent living next door who |
| out into the world, it's like giving birth to a baby. | | | | loves your home cooked brownies or has a crush |
| Everyone checks out your baby. Is it | | | | on your husband, or 2) know a publisher whose |
| breath-taking? Does it have ten toes and ten | | | | kid mows your lawn or has a crush on you. Not |
| fingers? Is it pink and sweet or does it look like | | | | living in New York was going to be a definite |
| an extra from "Alien?" We writers are baring our | | | | drawback. Should I move? Okay, how about a |
| souls, our deepest thoughts, and our feelings lay | | | | POD? I was fortunate to have a friend who is a |
| open like a cavernous wound. We can't hide | | | | small press publisher of railroad books. He offered |
| anymore. They know us inside and out. Now they | | | | to put my manuscript into a Quark Express PDF |
| see our baby, and they get to pick it to pieces, | | | | file (which is the format printers prefer). He did an |
| bit by bit, until the only thing left is a fuzzy | | | | incredible job putting it together for me. He felt |
| blanket. Oh, hell, we know that and go right on | | | | that if I had the print setup taken care of, I could |
| writing, don't we? It's in our DNA. We can't help | | | | approach a POD and save some money. I signed |
| ourselves, we're masochists. When I started this | | | | up for the POD classes at the conferences I |
| whole book-writing process, I had full intentions of | | | | attended, where they explained everything I |
| finding an agent and/or a traditional publisher; | | | | needed to know about their business ─ |
| they'd do all the work while I sat back and | | | | except how they kept most of the author's |
| listened to "Ca-ching, Ca-ching." However my | | | | money while they got big and rich and the author |
| journey to that end has been long and stress-filled | | | | got $3.09 per book. Okay, well, $3.09 a book is |
| and I ended up doing just the opposite...I'd kept a | | | | not that bad. Maybe I could make it. But, wait, I |
| daily journal while living in Thailand in the 90s. | | | | had to pay them to print my book, and then pay |
| When I returned to the States, I copied my | | | | them to buy my book back from them; too |
| journal onto a floppy and had it printed, | | | | many "thems" going on here. Something didn't |
| spiral-bound, and mailed it out to friends and | | | | compute. Maybe I should chuck the book and go |
| family so they could read about all my trials and | | | | into the POD business. Well, I succumbed. I bought |
| tribs while abroad. One of the friends who read it | | | | a book called The Fine Print of Self Publishing by |
| insisted that I make a book out of it. "You know," | | | | Mark Levine, an attorney, then sat down to do |
| she said, "like the book 'A Year in Provence.'" I | | | | some homework. After going over all the PODs |
| immediately ran out and bought the book and | | | | he listed with a fine-tooth calculator, I realized that |
| was amazed at the problems that the author had | | | | I could pay as much as $30,000 to one such POD |
| endured in a short year. I just knew that if his | | | | group, but hey, my books would be free. How |
| book sold, then mine would also, however, life got | | | | generous of them. Or, I could choose a POD |
| in the way of living and I put it aside. I joined | | | | group charging as low as $299, but I'd still have to |
| some creative writing classes a few years later, | | | | buy my own books back at about $8.00 each. I |
| and with encouragement from my peers I began | | | | finally settled on a firm I'll call "Dewey Cheatem & |
| the long road of putting the journal into book | | | | Howe" (name changed to protect the guilty), and |
| form. In 2003, when I finally thought I'd finished it, | | | | thought I'd finally get on with this damn book |
| I entered it into the Southern California Writers | | | | printing. They sent me a sample of their work |
| Conference in San Diego. While there, I read | | | | that was done beautifully. I signed on the dotted |
| chapters from my story in the Read and Critique | | | | line, waited three more weeks and then my |
| groups and the attendees laughed in all the right | | | | author's copy was delivered. And there it sat. On |
| places and even clapped, (I'd hoped it wasn't | | | | my desk. Opened to the first page, which I |
| because they were happy I'd finished). At the end | | | | couldn't read. I started bawling. Where is my |
| of the conference I was notified that I'd won the | | | | baby? The font was so garbled that it was illegible. |
| Best Nonfiction award for my story and an agent | | | | There was a space after every capital letter and |
| asked for my manuscript. Wow! That just doesn't | | | | the other letters were so piled on each other you |
| happen unless they love it! I knew I was ready | | | | couldn't make out the words. When I'd used all |
| for the Pulitzer. Then I began to panic. What if it | | | | the Kleenex in my desk drawer, I called them. Of |
| isn't perfect? I had talked to a "book doctor" at | | | | course, no one was on the other end, save for |
| the conference who advised me that my story | | | | the automated voice of their mailboxes. But at |
| "...needed some conflict. Who really cares about a | | | | least I got rid of my postpartum anger. I cried |
| housewife who's having a good time in Thailand? | | | | and said very imperiously, "HOLD THE PRESSES! I |
| Give them a reason to turn the page." Okay, | | | | will not accept this book. I will call Visa (of course |
| that's what I'll do. There certainly was plenty of | | | | they already had my money) and stop payment |
| conflict in my life in Thailand, but I'd left it out; it | | | | and ..." I felt like an inner tube impaled on a sharp |
| was painful to relive and I wanted it to be a | | | | rock. Then I called my friend, the publisher. "Of |
| humorous book. I emailed the agent and told her I | | | | course you can do this on your own. You have |
| wasn't ready. Take your time, she'd said. It's not | | | | the file, just find a good printing company." I |
| time sensitive. So began the journey of "weaving" | | | | inquired around and found out that I could get my |
| the conflict into my story. It was the hardest | | | | book printed overseas at half the cost of |
| thing I'd ever done. It was three years before I | | | | stateside. I began to get phone numbers and |
| felt it was good enough to be a real book. But, | | | | surfed websites. There were some good deals to |
| those three years were not only spent rewriting. I | | | | be made overseas; however, the problem was I |
| took online writing classes and signed up at the | | | | needed a broker. So after the broker took his |
| local college for creative writing classes, I | | | | cut, and the shipping charges were added, a |
| attended a critique group every week, putting my | | | | stateside printer looked better. Plus, the thought |
| chapters up to their scrutiny as they tore it apart | | | | of having a problem and not being able to connect |
| and helped put it back together. The rest of the | | | | at once with your printer was worrisome. I |
| time I was editing my life away. But as Stephen | | | | searched the Internet and found many websites |
| King says in his book On Writing: edit, edit and | | | | where you could input the details of your book, |
| edit. And when you think it's perfect, edit some | | | | number of pages, size of book, print run, etc., and |
| more. My husband had a name for my constant | | | | within a week I got a bid from ten printing |
| editing: "Paralysis by analysis." When I felt I had | | | | companies. After picking one printer (not the |
| everything in place, I looked for professional | | | | cheapest), I felt we had a fit. I spoke to the |
| editing. I first paid the book doctor $500 to tell | | | | owner, who offered to throw in a hundred free |
| me that it needed help. He didn't give me any, | | | | books, which might have had something to do |
| just told me it needed it. I found a line-editor in | | | | with my decision. He checked out my website |
| Canada, who did a great job, and then I hired a | | | | while we were speaking, loved the site and the |
| freelance editor; total for both $600; quite | | | | look of my book and of course, he had me. He |
| inexpensive in today's editing market. During those | | | | also offered storage and order fulfillment. Now, all |
| three years, I also did a lot of reading on the | | | | I had to do was put our house on the market |
| publishing world; agents, print-on-demand (PODs) | | | | and clear out our 401K. I know what you're |
| and off-set printing companies. I attended | | | | thinking. Sure, maybe she has it, but not |
| conferences specifically on "How to get published." | | | | everyone can come up with that much money. |
| The more I heard and read, the more I thought: | | | | Yes, you can if you want to. We took an equity |
| From all the conferences I'd attended, the agent | | | | line on our home and as the money comes rolling |
| panels were the most disillusioning. I learned that | | | | in, I'll be making payments on the equity line. We |
| agents don't want you if you've not been | | | | authors must be optimists. Really! If you don't |
| published, and publishers don't want you if you've | | | | believe in your book, who will? I ran off my own |
| not been published, or don't have an agent, who | | | | bookmarks and saved a few hundred dollars. I |
| doesn't want you either. Who needs 'em? | | | | used the cover of the book, wrote a short |
| Publishers don't want you if you don't have a | | | | synopsis on the back, and had 500 printed. I have |
| "platform!" A what? To my dismay I learned that | | | | handed out those bookmarks on airplanes and in |
| I needed to have my own buying public. There | | | | airports; Seattle, Palm Desert, San Diego, Portugal, |
| was no publisher that was going to run out and | | | | New York, Australia, New England... well maybe |
| sell my book for me, pay for my cross-country | | | | not personally, but I've given them to people who |
| book signings and hotel rooms, unless of course I | | | | live in those places and they were happy to have |
| was a King or a Grisham or a Joyce Carol Oates. | | | | them and said they'd pass them on. I've handed |
| Then of course, there's the eighteen month wait | | | | them out in restaurants to women sitting around |
| for the book to appear on the shelves after the | | | | me; two of them bought my book right on the |
| publisher accepts it (if the publisher doesn't decide | | | | spot. My friends call me "A self-promoting slut." I |
| to pull the plug at the last minute), and don't | | | | have to leave you now, as that's where I am in |
| forget the two years that it takes the agent to | | | | this wonderful world of the written word, where |
| shop around for a publisher who might decide to | | | | the writing was easy... now comes the hard part |
| pull the plug at the last minute. Who has that long? | | | | ─ marketing! |
| I don't even buy green bananas anymore. Wow! I | | | | Dodie Cross is a freelance writer who has |
| remember my table mates and I frowning as we | | | | received numerous awards for her writing and |
| listened to the dire answers of this panel of | | | | poetry. Dodie has traveled the world, writing |
| agents and publishers. So how do we get | | | | about her life in foreign countries. Learn more at: |
| published? Well, we have two options so it | | | | A Broad in Thailand. |