Are Computers Female?

Computers, like ships, boats and yachts, must beboss said "Take your laptop with you always, we
female. They all need a lot of loving andexpect regular reports faxed to us after your
occasionally need to be shouted at, they oftenmeetings" I had become a road warrior!
have problems depending on the time of theSounds exciting doesn't it? It was a lot of the
month, and all of them need a lot of moneytime; visiting places I had never been to before.
spent on them regularly.Hong Kong, Singapore, Indonesia, Malaysia all gave
Do you remember the time when only prettyme new experiences, cultural, business, visual,
secretaries with nice legs and short skirts hadfood. I became a more experienced and educated
computers on their desks? The bosses looked atperson as a result and I am lucky to have been
them longingly, the computers not the secretaries,through that. Ineluctably, the term Road Warrior
but sometimes both. The computers were calledbrings other experiences too. Boarding aircraft
word processors because that was all they couldwith an extra bag containing laptop, portable
do. The secretaries could do more, but I will notprinter then a portable scanner and that little bag
go down that path. At least the secretaries madecontaining vital accessories like adaptors, power
coffee, if you were nice to them. If the companyand telephone cables, tiny screwdrivers. Being
had a main-frame computer it could spew outquestioned in security channels, having to power
large quantities of information on huge pieces ofup the computer to prove it was not stuffed with
folded, perforated paper. Confidence in computersSemtex, and then interrogated by customs
was so low then that these documents wereofficers about where I bought the hardware, was
never thrown away and offices had tall piles ofall part of that exciting lifestyle. I was often
especially made folders containing them.travelling to various countries for 2-3 weeks and
In those days I had no computer skills. Didn't needusually spent at least one day of the weekend
them. I just pressed a button on my desktopworking on the computer.
telephone and pretty secretary came running inEven 5 Star hotels did not have wireless internet
with notebook and pencil ready to take dictation. Iconnections then, so I spent a lot of time in hotel
enjoyed that because pretty secretary alwaysrooms crawling around the floor trying to find a
crossed her nice legs in her short skirt in front oftelephone socket I could unscrew and the
me before I started dictating.connect my cable to a line. Every country seems
Change always comes. I talked my way into ato have different connectors but thanks to my
good job at a senior level with a high techlittle bag, I was never defeated and could send
telecommunications equipment company. Nothe required reports to the office.
secretary, pretty or not.I dreaded being asked for a presentation at short
On my first day a new laptop computer, heavy innotice. That meant hours with Microsoft
those days, was delivered to my office. Luckily, IPowerPoint then printing and hoping the client had
was scheduled very quickly for two daysa good projector. She often let me down too, my
computer training. I learnt all the basics, like howunfaithful travelling companion the laptop
to start it up and adjust the settings, how tocomputer. Shouting at her never solved the
troubleshoot, how to defragment the disk drives.problem, but coaxing with the promise of a
I learnt how to use Windows, Microsoft Word,software upgrade or a disc defrag. as often as
Excel and PowerPoint. It had a fax and LAN card.not resulted in an afternoon of bliss. I miss
My new job involved a lot of travel to Asia. Mydictating to those pretty secretaries though.