| Loving ourselves is the basis for all other | | | | your action as supportive or not supportive. |
| successful relationships. Herein lie the power to a | | | | Chose one and be ok with it. |
| joyful life well lived. There are some subtle ways | | | | Judging ourselves sets us up to judge others and |
| we devalue ourselves including what we say to | | | | that's the beginning of the Catch 22 game of "I |
| ourselves. Read Marry Yourself First for some | | | | am not good enough but neither are you." |
| insights on how to love all of you, even the things | | | | "I don't deserve to be happy" you might say. |
| you say are ugly. | | | | Phooey, you come in worthy of all that is good |
| It is hard to escape the connection between June | | | | and joyous. Worthy is in your DNA. "I am not |
| and weddings. This got me thinking about | | | | strong enough to change my body" you plead. |
| marriage and the different kinds of love. | | | | You most certainly are. What in your life so far |
| Marriage is not for the faint of heart. Neither is | | | | has killed you? Has your life not proven that you |
| loving oneself unconditionally which is the basis for | | | | stronger than you know until put to a test? |
| any healthy relationship. Ain't that a bitch?! Love all | | | | Just like love. Love is the ultimate strength. Can |
| the ugly? Yup, cause it's only you calling it that. | | | | you see how loving yourself is where the power |
| At the risk of repeating myself from other | | | | is? |
| articles let me say this: You are whole and | | | | "I'm such an idiot" is one of my favorite, |
| complete when you come into the world; a | | | | easy-to-roll-off-the-tongue poisons to the |
| miracle of creation. As Dr. Sue Morter would say, | | | | relationship I have with me. Am I? No. "So what's |
| "You come into the world with your bag fully | | | | the big deal", you ask," it's just words." |
| packed. It never left your side so you know that | | | | The big deal is that your mind accepts what you |
| no one took anything out that you needed, nor | | | | say, think, or experience as the same. Repeated |
| put in anything that you might not want." | | | | actions, words, and experiences will shape the |
| Love relationships are successful when the lovers | | | | brain into grooves. Once the grooves are there |
| have had good mentors. The relationship mentors | | | | the needle plays over and over in that groove |
| will have a healthy sense of self-love or | | | | and it is harder for us to do something or think |
| self-esteem or they cannot live it. More than likely | | | | something differently. "I am an idiot" is the same |
| they will have been nurturing, caring, and | | | | as "I am brilliant" as far as the mind is concerned. |
| supportive to us as well as to themselves and | | | | But which would you rather see yourself as? |
| each other. | | | | There's more. If you allow that the Law of |
| People who have suffered mental or physical | | | | Attraction is real then you must also believe in the |
| abuse, rejection, chaos, or abandonment are likely | | | | concept of vibrations. We create vibrations every |
| to be confused about their sense of self worth. If | | | | minute because we are energy. Negative thoughts |
| you grew up hearing "you are so clumsy" or | | | | and words are low on the vibration totem pole. |
| "what a stupid girl" and "Daddy left and it's your | | | | They go out and find other low vibrations to tune |
| fault" you might be holding subconscious ideas | | | | in to and you get less of what you want. More |
| about your adult self that reflect those words. | | | | importantly, you "Be" less than is possible for you |
| Empowering? Hardly. Self-doubt and condemnation | | | | when you treat yourself poorly. |
| will be the soundtrack playing softly in the | | | | "If you put a small value on yourself, rest assured |
| background of your adult life. | | | | that the world will not raise your price." |
| So what to do about this self love/self esteem | | | | -Anonymous' |
| thing? | | | | You are the baby everyone thought was perfect |
| Millions of entries show up in a Google search for | | | | and lovable. You are the child you are raising, or |
| those phrases, la la gurus market it with bubble | | | | the other you are loving that you cherish and |
| bath and candles, and chances are many of us | | | | want to protect with all your heart. You are doing |
| consider sitting down at the end of a long day | | | | the best you can or you would do something else |
| with a glass of wine or a large whack of premium | | | | I promise. |
| chocolate a little bit of self love. | | | | Will you try something? Tell your brain that you |
| And so they are a part of the process. | | | | want to become more aware of your self talk. |
| Bubbles in the tub or a glass can soothe, stroke, | | | | Listen for the things you say throughout the day |
| and help us to celebrate our wondrous selves and | | | | and see if they are loving and supportive or not. |
| I encourage those things. When followed by "Ah, I | | | | If not see how you might change how you say |
| am so loving this bath and Oh lord would you look | | | | something to raise your vibration. |
| at those thighs" you've just ripped the needle | | | | Yesterday while working on this article I looked at |
| from the Barry White record of self love. | | | | the clock. It was 3:15pm. Suddenly I realized that I |
| Here is a conversation I overheard the other day | | | | had 45 minutes to get to the bank to do a |
| while shopping for something to wear. Shopper 1: | | | | transfer so my property tax check would clear |
| "I am so fat I can't stand it." Shopper 2, standing | | | | today. Immediately I got out my mental cane and |
| just outside the try on room: "Oh my gawd I feel | | | | started whipping. "How stupid can I get, why didn't |
| the same way. I can't believe I'm such a jerk for | | | | I do this yesterday......" Then I caught myself and |
| eating like my husband all the time when I know | | | | changed my thinking. I even talked to myself out |
| it's not the best way for me to get healthy." | | | | loud to make it more powerful. "Wow, how cool is |
| Sounds like harmless bathing suit shopping horror | | | | this living intentionally stuff? I listen to my inner |
| right? Well it is and isn't. While it is common for us | | | | wisdom and I'm reminded in plenty of time to do |
| to talk about ourselves in negative terms, it is not | | | | this bank transfer. Nothing like a deadline to get |
| harmless. This kind of talk also means our identity | | | | me to into action" said I. What a hoot. It made |
| is bound up in a temporal, aging, changing, physical | | | | me smile and that's a higher vibration and |
| form. We are not our thighs! The body is the | | | | suddenly I felt good about getting the transfer |
| vehicle through which we experience our lives. | | | | done on time, period. |
| That is all. | | | | Try to let your judging, negative voice go. Be |
| But what about repeating actions we know are | | | | loving, forgiving, be gentle. Like you do for others. |
| not best for us, doesn't that qualify as stupid? | | | | Marry yourself. Make the commitment to love all |
| My answer to that is this, Don't judge yourself | | | | of you and see what you are up to as brilliant and |
| one way or the other. You are neither stupid nor | | | | just as it should be. Do it if for no other reason |
| smart when you decide to do something. Look at | | | | than that it will, guaranteed, make your life better. |