| Men, that is males of the human species, are | | | | whose men actually try to ask for directions. If |
| genetically designed to be unable to take or give | | | | your man jumps out of the car to ask someone |
| directions. This is a fact. There is no use trying to | | | | for directions, he is doing this for your sake. He |
| deny this. If you do, and you are male, then you | | | | does not want to appear the |
| are most certainly in a deep, psychopathic denial. | | | | directionally-challenged oaf that he is. So, off he |
| Women all over the world already know this. This | | | | goes to ask for directions. |
| transcends culture and even time itself. Adam no | | | | If he encounters a direction-giving woman, he will |
| more knew exactly where the Tree of Good and | | | | most certainly act like he understands every |
| Evil was in the Garden of Eden than he knew | | | | single twist and turn of her directions. However, in |
| where God was hiding watching him and Eve. This | | | | reality, he will not have heard one word she told |
| is a fact. It is in the Bible. Eve found the fruit. | | | | him. When he gets back into the car, he will say, |
| Adam could not. I could rest my case here but I | | | | "Well, my turtle dove, there was no one who |
| progress. | | | | knew anything about where we want to go." or |
| I am one of the few men of the human race | | | | something to that effect. |
| who actually accepts this fact of genetics. I do | | | | If he encounters a man, they will have a beer |
| not fight it. I admit it freely. I cannot find anything, | | | | together while laughing hysterically that you are |
| even if someone draws me a map. | | | | sitting out in the car while your guy is pretending |
| One of the perks of writing a column is that | | | | to obtain directions to your desired destination |
| readers will often write you. Some of them tell | | | | from another guy. Your hunk will return and with |
| me that I miss the point of life itself and should | | | | the appropriately sad face, tell you that no one |
| never write another word. Others, actually | | | | knew a thing. |
| interested in what I have to say about my life in | | | | That is why, for all you men who are in denial |
| Mexico, write for clarifications of points in my | | | | about being able to give and take directions, you |
| articles and sometimes-directions! | | | | should send your women to get directions! Don't |
| I recently wrote a piece about cheaper, | | | | allow your pride to get in the way. Send in the |
| middle-class accommodations here in my adopted | | | | woman! |
| Mexican town, Guanajuato. This guy wrote me | | | | Well, what compounded the problem was that the |
| for a clarification about whether I was describing | | | | reader said, "I could not find it on the map of |
| a hostel or a hotel. Then, amazingly, he asked me | | | | Guanajuato." |
| how to get there. | | | | The reason he could not find this hostel was |
| Do not miss the irony of this. Here was someone | | | | because 1) he is a man and 2) the maps of this |
| who identified himself as a male asking a male | | | | town were drawn by other men. |
| author for DIRECTIONS! | | | | The existing maps make no sense whatsoever |
| I could not give directions out of a paper bag | | | | even if you are a guy who is particularly good |
| even if my life depended on it. The reason is I am | | | | with directions. I do not know why anyone |
| a man. Though I have lived in Guanajuato for | | | | bothers to keep producing these maps. The |
| more than three years, have walked the streets | | | | Spanish, who settled this place, could not make |
| endlessly, I have no clue how to tell someone | | | | maps of the impossible Guanajuato topography. |
| who has never stepped foot in this town how to | | | | Why do modern men continue to try? |
| get anywhere. I know how to get to the places | | | | My wife, who knows every street by name, had |
| where I have been (where my wife has taken | | | | to get online and send directions to this reader. I |
| me) and that is about it. Unless someone is | | | | am sure that he had to get his wife to read them |
| familiar with the same landmarks, I cannot tell | | | | since he would not have been able to follow |
| someone how to get anywhere. | | | | directions. That is his genetic imperative. |
| Let me make a point here for you gals out there | | | | Do not deny it! |